#22: Letter of Appreciation

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.


Later: That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report emailed to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

#19: Quarelling Couples

A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and as bedtime approached neither was speaking to the other. It was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at 4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and being a very heavy sleeper he normally relied on his wife to wake him.

Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife was in the bathroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: 'Please wake me at 4:30am - I have an important flight to catch'. He put the note on his wife's pillow, then turned over and went to sleep.

The man awoke the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he'd missed his flight, he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note on his bedside cabinet.

The note said: 'It's 4:30am - get up.'

#14: Laconic Reply

Laconia was a city in Ancient Sparta. The Spartans were famous for their dry wits, which was called "laconic" after the region and its people.

When Phillip II invaded, he sent a message to the king of Laconia.

Message: You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city.

Reply: If