#25: Cool Salesman

One day long before his incarnation as a railway mogul, James Cooley worked as a traveling salesman for the Baldwin Locomotive Company.

One day he visited Terence Jackson, sales and purchasing manager of the Delaware and Lackawanna Railroad - a difficult man to see under any circumstances, nevermind for an unknown salesman...

"I would like to see Mr. Jackson," Cooley boldly informed Jackson's secretary, handing her his card. She then rose and disappeared into Jackson's office, where, through the partly opened door, Cooley saw him tear his card in half and throw it in the garbage.

The secretary soon returned and told Cooley that Jackson was unavailable. "May I have my card back?" he innocently asked.

Embarrassed, the secretary again disappeared into Jackson's office, returning a moment later with a nickel and a curt message: "Mr. Jackson says that your card was destroyed, but he hopes the five cents will repay the cost of printing it."

Cooley promptly drew another card from his pocket and handed it to the bemused secretary.

"Take this back to him," he instructed her, "and tell him I sell two cards for a nickel."

#21: Leading from the rear

The story goes: upon completing a highly dangerous tightrope walk over Niagara Falls in appalling wind and rain, “The Great Zumbrati” was met by an enthusiastic supporter, who urged him to make a return trip, this time pushing a wheelbarrow, which the spectator had thought-fully brought along.

The Great Zumbrati was reluctant, given the terrible conditions, but the supporter pressed him,

‘You can do it – I know you can,’ he urged.

‘You really believe I can do it?’ asked Zumbrati.

‘Yes – definitely – you can do it,’ the supporter insisted.

‘OK,’ said Zumbrati, ‘Get in the wheelbarrow...

Story#12: Butcher

A butcher, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be £6.35," he told the customer.

"That's a good price, but it really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?"

Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again.

"This one," he said faintly, " will be £6.65."

The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision...

"I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"

Mental Hospital

While transporting some unfortunate mental patients from one secure place to another, the newly appointed bus driver stopped at a roadside restaurant for natural break.

On his return to the bus, all twenty patients were gone.

Being a resourceful fellow and fearing the consequences of his negligence, he drove to the next bus stop, where he claimed to be a replacement for the usual service. Allowing twenty people aboard, the driver made straight for his destination, where he warned staff at the gates that the 'patients' were deluded and extremely volatile.

The angry 'patients' were duly removed, sedated and incarcerated, and remained in detention for three days, until staff were able to check the records and confirm their true identities.

The actual patients were never found.